**GOD FATHER**

@

MAMBROSTA

FIGHT AGAINST THE BEST ,

DIE LIKE THE REST !!!!

FAO: Manc Fans - Loving the irony
Q: What city in England has the highest rate for of robberies?
A: Machester, with more than TWICE the number of robberies per 1000 people than in Liverpool. [BBC]

The worst places in England according to crime statistics:

Vehicle crime: Nottingham
Rape: Portsmouth
Assault: Leicester
Burglary: Stockport
Robbery: Manchester
Gun crime: Bradford
Murder: Nottingham

Manchester has a worse serious crime rate than Liverpool in every one of those categories. [SOURCE]

Murder

Manchester - 7th - 3.04 murders per 100,000 people
Liverpool - 20th - 2.13 murders per 100,000 people

Rape

Manchester - 11th - 5.35 rapes per 10,000 people
Liverpool - 40th - 3.52 rapes per 10,000 peolpe

Assault

Manchester - 17th - 20.7 assaults per 1,000 people
Liverpool - 20th - 20.41 assaults per 1,000 people

Burglary

Manchester - 8th - 28.72 burglaries per 1,000 people
Liverpool - 23rd - 16.75 burglaries per 1,000 people

Robbery

Manchester - 1st - 8.78 robberies per 1,000 people
Liverpool - 9th - 3.74 robberies per 1,000 people

Vehicle crime

Manchester - 2nd - 39.65 vehicle crimes per 1,000 people
Liverpool - 25th - 21.29 vehicle crimes per 1,000 people

Gun crime

Manchester - 15th - 2.92 gun crimes per 10,000 people
Liverpool - 28th - 1.68 gun crimes per 10,000 people

Overall rankings

Manchester - 5th - 98.71 serious crimes per 1,000 people
Liverpool - 21st - 62.73 serious crimes per 1,000 people


Still, could be worse, you could be a Forest fan.


Source: Dan

Funny stuff:

Baked beans and their delightful tune
A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions.
On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home, he figured he could indulge, and then walk off any ill effects. So he had three extra-large helpings of beans, and he "put-putted" all the way home.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!"
She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table, making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she went to answer it.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. This one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another one snuck out, and the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook, and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead.
When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the picture of innocence when she walked in.
Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. He assured her he had not, so she removed the blindfold and yelled, "Surprise!!!"
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

	Those Lovely Farmer's Daughters
	A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, ''I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?'' "No," the farmer said. The second beau came to the door and said, ''I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?'' "No." The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. ''Hello, my name is Chuck.'' The farmer shot Chuck.

So Cultured!
	A Greek and an Italian were drinking coffee one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon". Arching his eyebrows the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics." The Italian, nodding in agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire." And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!" The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."

So Cultured!
	A Greek and an Italian were drinking coffee one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon". Arching his eyebrows the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics." The Italian, nodding in agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire." And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!" The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."

"Children in the backseat cause accidents, accidents in the backseat cause children"
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?"
"i souport publik edekasion."
Friends are like condoms, they're always there when things get hard.
Crazyness is being one McNugget short of a happy meal
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening-this wasn't it
One bright day in the middle of the night, two dead men stood up to fight, three blind men to see fair play, forty mutes to yell hooray, back to back they faced eachother, drew their swords and shot eachother
If you treat a woman like an object thats just wrong, but if you treat an object like a woman thats just disgusting!
Its only funny till someone gets hurt...then its halarious!
How many hot, rich, funny, sweet, guys are out there? Two but their dating eachother.
Cheerleaders are happy, happiness s*cks, Cheerleader clap, they look like ducks, They think they're all that an a bag of chips, Well actually there a bunch of dits!
If toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?
Birdy birdy in the sky, why did you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap, oh my gosh its birdy crAp!
I still miss my ex, but my aim is improvingI ran into my ex the other day...put it in reverse and hit him again!
As an older, more mature adult, your job is to...make fun of the little kids!
Ociffer I swear to drunk I'm not God!
Last night I was looking up at the stars and I was wondering, where the heck is my ceiling?
God created men first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece
You laugh because I'm differnt, I laugh because you're all the sameAlcoholic slimfast- not only do you look better, but so do other people
We're all going to die someday so why not just kill ourselves now?
Have a nice day, thanks but I have other plans
Me no here, me go bye, leave me message, me reply
Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorroid when its inside your @ss?
Do Roman parametics refer to IVs are fours?
What do you say when someone says you're in denile but you're really not
Have ex-cowboys become derranged?
Why does Sea World have sea food restuarant?
I'm half way though my meal and I relized, oh my god...I could be eating a slow learner
A mind is is terrible thing to waste thats why I safe mine for special occations
This website may not be idiot proof but at least its dimwit resisant
You're not an alcoholic unless you go to the meetings
Don't play with your food especially if you've already eaten it
Don't take life so seriously, its not perminant
If we are what we eat then I'm easy, fast and cheap
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library and the Ronald Reagen Library and the Bill Clinton Adult Book Store
F U cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dm!
For sale: Parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain
When man discovered mil came from cows, what did he think he was doing?
Some people are only here because its illigal to kill
Follow your dreams, except the one where you're at school in your underware
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of b!tch
Why do we call it taking a dump, shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
If quizes are quizical what are tests?
If you take an oriental person and spin them around a few times does he become disoriented?The word of the day is 'legs' lets go back and spread the word
Hey lets have a party and invite your 'pants' down
As I said before, I never repeat myself
Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them
Life is uncertain, eat dessert first

USELESS FACTS - CUT N PASTE

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

City with the most Rolls Royces per capita: Hong Kong.

State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.

Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The first NFL team that plays its home games in a domed stadium to win a Superbowl was the St. Louis Rams in 1999.

The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League all-stars Game

The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosy is a rhyme about the plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores ("Ring around the rosy...", these sores would smell very badly so common folks would put flowers on their bodies somewhere (inconspicuously), so that it would cover the smell of the sores ("...a pocket full of posies...", People who died from the plague would be burned so as to reduce the possible spread of the disease ("...ashes, ashes, we all fall down!"

Q. What separates "60 Minutes," on CBS from every other TV show?
A. No theme song.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
A. Honey

Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the year.
A. Father's Day

Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?
A. He was allergic to carrots.

40% of all people who come to a party snoop in your medicine cabinet.

An apple, onion, and potato all have the same taste. The differences in flavor are caused by their smell. To prove this you can pinch your nose and take a bite from each. They will all taste sweet.

The estimated number of M & M's sold each day in the United States is 200,000,000.

Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

Wine will spoil if exposed to light, hence tinted bottles.

A hard-boiled egg will spin. An uncooked or soft-boiled egg will not. (I'm going home to boil an egg tonight)

Domestic cats hate lemons or other citrus scents.

Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath at least once a year.

Parker Brothers prints about 50 billion dollars worth of Monopoly money in one year. (which is more than real money printed in a year)

203 million dollars is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.

No word in the English language rhymes with "month".

If you put a raisin in a champagne bottle, it will rise and fall continuously.

The letter J does not appear ANYWHERE in the periodic table of elements.

In Canada, if a debt is higher than 25 cents, it is illegal to pay it with pennies.

Impotence is grounds for divorce in 24 states in the United States.

Federal law forbids recycling used eyeglasses in the United States

If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in U.S. coins without being able to make change for a dollar

If you are hedenophobic, you have a fear of pleasure.

"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom more often.

The longest word that can be typed solely with the left hand is stewardess

There is only ONE word in the English language with THREE CONSECUTIVE SETS OF DOUBLE LETTERS.... Bookkeeper

Cleveland spelled backwards is "DNA level C."

The # symbols is often referred to as a "number sign" or "pound sign." Its actual name is an octothorpe

The letter "W" is the only letter in the alphabet that doesn't have just one syllable – it has three.

The letters in the abbreviation e.g. stand for exempli gratia – a Latin term meaning "for example."

Women blink nearly twice as much as men do.

This one is deep...think about the cultural impact this could have: NO WAR HAS BEEN FOUGHT WHERE BOTH COUNTRIES HAD A McDonalds

For the "wrong handed" people...Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people! That means DEATH to Lefties

The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet!

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable"!

A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off - it dies from starvation.

The state of Florida is bigger than England!

The youngest person to give birth was a five-yr. old tribal girl (C-Section of course)

por Tyler Durden * Saturday, December 27, 2003